A surprisingly smooth start…

Day two of eating mainly vegetables went better than expected and here’s the crazy part, apparently I can cook. Not only can I cook, but I can figure out which clear plastic bag in my cabinet is spelt flour and which is nutritional yeast. This may seem like an easy distinction to some, but my total time in a kitchen preparing edible content is horrifically low. I’ve never had patience for cooking. It takes too much time, there are too many instructions, and by the time I actually want to cook something, I’m starving and would rather hit up my staple food, wheat thins and ranch dressing. I get frustrated waiting for water to boil.

For breakfast this morning, I made vegan blueberry muffins. Gman and the kids eyed them suspiciously and then nearly lost their shit when they tried them. “Oh my god, MOM! These are AMAZING!” Oh ye of little faith…


At lunch, I grew bolder and went for plantain and bean taquitos with a warm Kale salad (yes you read that right). My experience with taquitos falls into two categories. The first, is the Old El Paso frozen boxed chicken variety which let’s face it, are pretty damn awesome. The second, is my Venezuelan sister from another mister who humored me once and made them along with Arepas. I figured I could land my taquitos somewhere in between. Okay, so probably at the lower end of that “in-between.” Did you know that peeling a plantain is harder than peeling a banana? Mind blown.


At dinner I was basking in the glow of my two previous successes and went all out to make a black bean burger with a ton of ingredients that I never imagined would go together. Seriously, I was supposed to put walnut dust into a bowl with black beans, pulverized carrot, and something called apple cider vinegar (yes you may commence laughing). I probably stared at the food processor for 5 full minutes before I figured out how all the pieces fit together.


So there you go. Day two down and I’m all excited and determined. It’s a good thing too because tomorrow we run. My hate for Kale will pale in comparison to my hate for everything that is to be tomorrow and running.

“Can you imagine? Soon we can run a 5K.” – Gman

“I don’t want to imagine.” – T





Well, I won’t die of scurvy

Day one of eating only things that grow in the ground.

So far I feel pretty awesome and well, I won’t die of scurvy, so there’s that.

Let me start this blog by saying this. I don’t care what you eat. I don’t care what exercise regime is working for you. I don’t care if you eat nothing but bloody steaks or throw up in your mouth at the thought of eating a chicken taquito. This blog is not about what diet is correct, which workout is better, or whether someone is going to die of a vitamin deficiency for not consuming a particular type of food. This blog is my outlet because after a year of eating relatively healthy and adding exercise back into my life, it’s not enough. 55lbs lost is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not enough.

I’m 34 years old and I am overweight. I am not a little overweight, I am unhealthily overweight. It has occurred to me that the only thing holding me back is me. Oh, this one time won’t matter…it’s too cold to go walking…I’m just really busy this week…but it’s a HOLIDAY! It’s all bullshit and I know it, so here’s the deal. This blog is my way of having some accountability to someone other than myself. It’s a way for me to get my feelings out and cleanse my soul so that it will be harder to cave when I should be digging in and digging deep to cross this finish line.

So what am I? I have no idea. I suppose officially I am Pescatarian, as of today, but since I hate fish, I don’t know how long that term is going to stick. Am I vegan? Sort of. I am whatever eats 75% vegetables and fruits, and the other 25% is made up of some grain and whatever fish I can choke down or small amounts of dairy if I can manage to get those in too. I don’t really like meat, and I like cheese too much so…this is going to be an interesting experiment. Before you flip out, yes I know about B12 deficiency and yes I’ve talked to a nutritionist.

The eating ground things is only a very small portion of the pain I am about to endure on this journey, and let me tell you, pain for me was having to put Kale and Sweet Potatoes in my grocery cart today.

Gman wants me to go running with him.

He has made me download this Couch to 5K app and we start the program on Monday. I didn’t even like running when I was thin. In high school, I was on the soccer team and when we had to go running as part of training, I would start off with everyone else then convince a friend to pick me up in her car, go get a milkshake, then get dropped off somewhat near the finish line. That is how much I hate running.

Surprisingly even with as heavy as I am now, I can actually run. I just hate it. I hate it almost as much as I hate Sweet Potatoes and Kale.

Gman does not care. “Well, we’ve tried doing things we like for a year and we’re still fat.” Touche you bastard.

So there ya go. Day one down and running starts on Monday. I am going to hate every minute of this for a long time so I thought, what better way to start than to express my hate of all this to all of you.



A little inspiration from someone much cooler than me….